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| Posted By: on: 09/14/2000 11:43:44 EDT
Subject: RE: Pt. II
Pt. II finds our hero on his way to the judging area after hiding under a woman's hoopskirt:
As I'm walking up the trail, be-bopping along and thinking the Yankees are gone, I'm surprised by the two members of the rear guard, who quickly and smartly take me prisoner. It is just then that the two side's main bodies encounter each other, and a major skirmish begins a few hundred yards up the trail.
Well, my two captors apparently were assigned rear guard due to their lack of motivation. They somehow are too lazy to search me, unknowing that I have seven bars of gold. As they get into a debate about which of them is going to turn me over to their Captain (both are too lazy to walk up the trail while the fight is in progress), I ask if I can snack on a piece of hard tack, which is in my haversack while they figure things out.
However, instead of hard tack, I have a two shot derringer in my haversack. I draw it and fire twice. Luckily, a judge was nearby and tagged them both dead. I take my revolvers and continue to the end of the trail. By now, the fight is over, and scores are being tallied. The Yanks turn in two bars of gold; the Confederates one. The total looks grim, as the Confeds. suffered major casualties in the skirmish. The judges are astounded that seven bars of gold are still unaccounted for. Just as this is made mention of, I come a'whistlin' down the trail. I hear what is going on, and that the Confederates lose by 400 points as a result of casualties, and a major tactical blunder. I ask if the exercise is over. A judge looks at his watch, and says that there still is seven minutes remaining, but he will end it if no one has anything else to add.
I tell him that I do have some things to add. Seven to be exact! Then, I give him the bars of gold. Officers and men on both sides have their jaws drop almost to the ground in disbelief. Re-tallying the votes gives the Confederates a 350 point victory, as I also got 25 points a piece for the two Yanks I nailed in my escape.
Needless to say, I was the hero of the day, and though we went out to eat, I didn't pay for a thing all night!
Top that one!!! ;-)
Zowie, geewillikers and zonkers! Now that's cool! Ah, the things that happen in this kind of life!!